Loneliness is one part of my life i dare can't afford to loose. People might say it a paradox but the reality is that i have had quite some experience with the merits and demerits of being lonely and in the end both seem subtenant. Sometimes you complain meeting so many people that you don't even have enough time for your ownself that you cannot concentrate even on the job at hand. for a person who doesn't have a second option at most times loneliness can be big boon, but for me who strikes the equilibrium between the most sternest repulsive factors and lives among one of the most destructive environments its something strange, yet edible.
Certain recent events have caused my life to be lonely for reasons unexplained. There are times you think about what you have done wrong and at times you think that life is not kind enough towards you, but in my case, as always none of them fits the puzzle. I would like to get back to you on the fact that you might think, that i have had a horrible break-up, but that's not the case.One reason of mentioning this very fact is that one i have no one in my life to break up with and neither it wouldn't be as tragic as what is really happening in my life. It can be better explained as a minimization optimization problem which is subject to a lot of unknown boundary conditions.
Currently i am living alone in the hostel with both my roommates out of the room residing places far away from this room which will probably continue for the rest of the year till August, adding to it a close friend of mine is not allowed to meet me for being indiscipline and worst my IBM project is not complete enough for submission.
Although the IBM project, since the very beginning was a mere first shot towards a larger target and it laid the foundations for my years coming in this college. I knew that it would never be complete considering my current level of expertise and the support that i got from my teammates plus the faculty coordinator for the project, but nevertheless it was an experience that allows me to complete the project and submit it as a part of my minor project in the beginning of third year. I was applauded for my efforts and i am hence satisfied too.... more so for the fact that my semesters are nearing and i gotta really gear up hard to achieve my next frontier in college "Conquering myself in 3rd Semester".
This rejuvenation is certainly needed currently that now i don't have many people close enough with me. But, on the hind side i have also realized the virtues of friendship as new relationships evolve amidst the dearths of pain and reason. I have had a roller coaster ride in third semester which had almost everything in store for me...From the Sem. 1 result to Winning Confero, to making "new" and "close" friends in campus, interacting with seniors and juniors directing them towards a larger dream,to Swine flu which almost brought my life to a standstill, but brightly declaring out how many people cared for me especially my family's love for me and their sacrifice to achieve my life again.
And finally it was me....survived yet another semester among the most adverse conditions with a lot of mental conditioning exercises posed up by life to me, from experiences to eventualities life comes down as a one full circle which meant only one bare fact....
Don't expect too much, but dare not to stop expecting either. Trust yourself and your luck and follow the road to within.... Admit to yourself that you cannot be normal and so be it.After all, you know ALL IS WELL!!!